It’s raining again. Hell yeah.

Never thought that I’d write again today but, the rain made my mood so…yeah I’m writing again.

I can’t recall when was the time when I first started loving rainy days. Unlike other people during my childhoods, they get ready to play but rain comes and all things’ gone. When I was a kid, I spent most of my time indoor than outdoor, which explains why I’m so fat that time (maybe?) I rarely go out and play and what I do is sticking my 130 pounds fat ass on the chair facing the monitor for long hours and that’s how I spent most of my time of life, in front of the computer. I really wished that my parents would send me for piano classes or drawing classes like what other parents did. But everyone is different, and my parents were financially troubled when I was a kid. My dad switched jobs from jobs, from a construction worker to a factory worker, trying to get a better pay check to feed the family, while my mum works as a teacher on a primary school, which also I used to study in.

It all turned out well, my dad found a job at a company, namely Thales, selling HSM (Hardware Security Module) for banks nationwide and he managed to climb all the way to a manager, which, has a better pay check. But my life remained the same, I’m still sticking my ass, 110 pounds this time, on the same damn chair. But yes you’ve got it right, I slimmed down, magically, because of band. So those of you who wanted to slim down, maybe you can try band eh?

Back to rain.

I loved rain a lot. I loved the way it sounds when the droplets of water hits the ground, i loved the way the soil smelled after/during the rain, it has a very sweet smell which I don’t know how should I describe it, i loved the way the frogs croaking after the rains in the night (too bad it’s all gone now ), i loved the way the rain made the weather cooler, i loved the way how rain can made me fall asleep, and i loved the way how it can made my mood better.

Personal opinion, I’d like to put my point of view against rain that way. Because everyone have different opinions and yeah, hopefully somebody wont stab me in the back for me loving the rain so much. Hah xD

I guess I should stop writing now, else I’ll be going really random again.

Adios. God bless.

14 days passed since the last update. There are reasons for me to do that, simply because I don’t want to make blogging appear to be a do-it-or-die job to me (:

Report cards, oh yeah.

Got it back, of course, and no, it wont end up in the drain if you think it might be. Obviously, results dropped a lot, hell lot. Usual case for me, wasn’t the-end-of-the-world since, tbh, I have no interests in either science or mathematics. Music is more suited for me, I guess. Too bad it all came a little to late after I quited band eh?

-OH SHIT I DROPPED MY PHONE! ah forget bout it -_-

Class is boring as hell. Friends are at other classes, and that makes it harder to keep in touch. Friends in class are just unlike those that I’ve met before, it’s like — they’re totally different, which makes socializing a hell lot of ****ed-up work, that is. Even a friend complained and agreed to me that my class is lifeless, you know who you are don’t you? :p Yeah only if you read this you know that I’m emphasizing on how lifeless our class is.

Is it my failure to communicate and socialize? I doubt that. Maybe the people that I’m looking forward to make friends with are not in my class. Or I’m really such a failure in communicating and socializing that even my teacher told my dad that I’m always in my own world. Hell yeah, I’ve got no idea with this.

And a little bit of overdue wishes to my best friend Lim You Zhi aka Oil Juice or Gaylou or whatever you guys like to call him that is over in Singapore for the concert competition, ALL THE BEST TO YOU GUYS!

*doh! he just texted me that they got 3rd runner up and 0.4 points away from gold medal, that was close…*

Anyway, he told me that he bought me something over there and I’ll be receiving it by next Tuesday, so I’ll keep everything until that time then

Adios. God Bless.

Signing off, and Goodnight.

Been ages since I last blogged about stuffs. Because I’m always lazy and I tend to forget things (if you know me well you know I have short term memory or i’d like to call it STM because it sounds cooler that way, lol)  This is how the blog looked before I changed everything

As you have noticed, the chinese titles are gone Same goes to the english ones, and what’s better, is that i have it on this

it looks better than the previous one, ain’t it? :p

I don’t know what made me changed the template again, maybe i was just bored after all. To be honest, before I saved this post to draft, i have tons of things in my mind to write about. And if you guessed right, they’re gone right now.

Guess we’ll just wait for the next update eh?      

]]> http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/07/08/welcome-to-the-new-paradise/feed/ 0 SaintBarney blog layout - before Blog Header Yoong http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/%e6%b2%a1%e5%90%93%e7%9d%80%e4%ba%ba%e5%90%a7%ef%bc%9f/ http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/%e6%b2%a1%e5%90%93%e7%9d%80%e4%ba%ba%e5%90%a7%ef%bc%9f/#comments Mon, 14 Jun 2010 07:38:40 +0000 LilFishbone http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/?p=306 ]]> ㄲㄲㄲ~

真的没想到，自己竟然会换个语言来写部落格，可以说是 心血来潮吧！因为发觉自己很久 都没发帖了，所以决定来些新鲜的尝试。给它取了个名，《冰凍檸檬的故事》，是用繁体的，别问我为什么，就总觉得繁体字 够好看，够复杂，像人生一样。也许就是这样，我就喜欢上了繁体字……

很多很多 以前我以爲永遠都不會忘記的事情 現在都想不起來了 他們就這樣消失在了時間點上….. 这句， 没错，不是我自己写的  只是觉得蛮有意义，所以也将它写了下来。不会搞我抄袭吧？哈哈~

……

本来还有很多要写的，就突然之间把全部给忘了   还在这里和各位道歉道歉。

泡檸檬茶的. 上

______________________________________________________________________________________________

My deepest apologies to those who don’t understand Chinese or don’t understand it well. I’m just changing languages here (: don’t worry, English will be back soon

Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright it’s not the end.

Disclaimer: I admit I’ve always wanted to write a disclaimer. So I am secretly excited. Back to the point. As you can see this post is slightly long. There will be plenty of contradictions, some bits cheesy/cliché, and a couple of mini rants. Here we go then…

I sometimes have moments. Everyone has moments.
I have my moments when I really start thinking about things. Like, really start thinking about things. I’ll just sit there with a blank stare, and I’ll be deep inside my head. And I’ll go through the whole process of “what’s the point in doing [insert event that's causing you trouble]?’ ‘Why people are like that?’ and ‘I just don’t get it anymore.’

I recently had a moment earlier this week while I was in English class. We had a mock in February and one of the essay titles was ‘Be yourself, no matter what’. So, just for ‘fun’, my teacher tried to do this psychological analysis on us by getting us to draw a dot representing yourself, then draw other dots to show how close we are to other people. And then she made us draw a tree as if it were you. Normally, I’ll go along with random games that teachers might come up with, but the moment it turns into some kind of therapy session my semi-rebellious self kicks in and I don’t do it. For the record, now my teacher probably thinks I’m depressed or something, because I refused to do it.
So while everyone else was drawing their trees and dots I started thinking. Why do people feel the need to do these kinds of things? I get that it works for some people. I do. And so good for them. But then people started talking about ‘How do we know if we really are being ourselves?’ and it just bugs me. Because, the thing is, you do. You are yourself. No one can tell you, but you. Do people not realise that they are themselves every day? Maybe not in front of other people, but when they’re alone, surely they are?
I don’t get why people want to think about it so much though. Just be you. Live every day as you. Because it’s your life, and you get to choose. You don’t need to analyse every single part of your life as if it’s the most important thing ever. You don’t have to ‘know’ yourself just yet. It takes time…and sometimes a lot of thinking. But, I sometimes ‘find’ myself at certain points in my life. The times when I know that I’m just an ordinary kid, and I know all the things about me, and … that’s it. Nothing else. I don’t think about anything else. Not school, jobs, friends, family. Just me. Of course I’m being self-centered, but it’s only for a couple a minutes in my life. I’m just being self-aware. Being self-aware is how you find yourself. You figure out all the why’s, who’s, what’s, and how’s. But just, don’t over-complicate things. If you don’t know the answer to something, then just let it go. I don’t know the answers to plenty of things, but I’m 16. I’m not supposed to know every single answer to everything that’s going on in my life, but I’ll understand once I grow up a little more. And that’s when I’ll find myself again, at another point in my life.
But it’s annoying when things like school or whatever gets in the way. People worry about getting good grades, passing exams and everything. But there’s more to life then just getting As and A*s. My life is prioritised the way I want it to be. If someone thinks that getting 10 A*s at GCSE is more important then taking care of yourself then surely something’s not right there? I’ve never liked school, and it’s not one of those stupid baby-type whiny-voice ‘Oh I hate school, it’s stupid’ kind of attitudes. I honestly don’t like it, and just don’t get it. It’s just the way I am (I’ve written 2 English essays on it, so I have had the time to really think about it). I know school isn’t the strongest part of my life. I might be lucky if I get some decent grades, but I have other, more important things to worry about at the same time. Whether it’s about other people, or just other things happening in my life. I like to think there’s always other options though. That even if I don’t do that well, I’ll find a way to do something else. That I’ll figure it out, and I’ll be fine. Obviously, this isn’t much coming from a 16 year old, saying that it’s ok if you don’t do too well at school, you’ll be ok. Because I don’t know. It’s just I’ve had to help out a few of my friends with this kind of thing (getting closer to GCSE always stresses out people) and in the end all I can say is just, don’t overdo it, and at least have a life besides it. Sometimes working your butt off isn’t always the best thing.
It’s annoying when I have to redo that whole process of completely forgetting what was so normal about me, and then remembering it again. But it’s comforting remembering those moments. Knowing that, I can feel better, even if it’s just in my head.

Even this site gave me one of those finding myself moments. It also made me think about a lot of new things. Like how I just don’t get how people don’t get other people. Let me explain.
There’s the obvious first point, where I don’t understand why some people just can’t accept that some people are gay and nothing can change that. But then there are the others, where I don’t understand why even some gay people can’t accept bi, trans, pansexual (forgive me that I can’t name every sexual orientation there is) people. This is just me living in my own little bubble, where I wish people would just accept things and get on with life. For instance, if someone tells you they’re trans, then get their names and pronouns right, don’t be rude and just carry on. It doesn’t matter whether or not they’ve had surgery, are taking pills, binding their chest, or whatever, a guy’s a guy and a girl’s a girl. That’s it. There’s nothing complicated about it. I know I’ll never fully fully understand trans issues because I’m not trans myself. It’s the same as straight people not fully understanding what it’s like to be gay. But it doesn’t mean people have to completely block it out of their lives. They don’t have to be scared or anxious about it. I mean, I’ll check out the Trans Youth board every day because a) it interests me and b) it helps me out to. I’ve learned a lot about myself, reading topics on there that are never found on just plain old gay forums. And I’m grateful for that.

I know people are just going to tell me, well that’s just how some people are. And I know. But I’m just saying, I wish it wasn’t.
I sound like I’m on the verge of going crazy and losing it. And I’ve probably scared everyone of ever even thinking about commenting on this blog again. Well, don’t worry, everything’s fine. I’m fine. I’m not losing my mind or anything. Promise
And if you’ve made it this far then thank you. Tomorrow’s post will be better! I just needed a bit of a vent.

Take care people.

Anyway, I’m outta here,
-two

Here you go, hopefully you learned something, or at least, realized something

There’s a thing, or shall I say, a word. We call it “life”. In philosophy and religion, the conception of life and its nature varies. Both offer interpretations as to how life relates to existence andconsciousness, and both touch on many related issues, including life stance, purpose, conception of a god or gods, a soul or an afterlife. Defining life is difficult —in part— because life is a process, not a pure substance.

Thats an excerpt on “Life” from Wikipedia.

For me, life sounds familiar, yet unfamiliar to me at the same time. There’s been some time since I really “lived” my life. Enjoying every moment of it, cherishing it, sharing it with your friends….all these things had become unfamiliar to us as time passes. All the work, studies, homeworks, school exams are leading us to a “one-way-life” (that’s what I call it) You only remember how to rush every now and then to get something done and you’ve already forgotten how to enjoy the process during the work.

I attended a camp organised by the school’s monitorial board. It’s three days two night altogether but I swear it’s the best one I’ve attended ever. Some highlights from this event are: treasure hunting on 4 in the morning, never tried it before don’t you? Well all of us never saw it coming, they said it was a surprise. And yes, they made it a GOOD surprise.

Sleeping at midnight and constantly getting disturbed by bugs, waking up at 4am, and surviving it until the end of the day wasn’t an easy task. Try it yourself and you’ll understand. Following on the evening, we had a barbecue. The sky darkened and everyone thought it’s gonna rain and thankfully, it didn’t. Else everything will be ruined by the rain.

Waking up on the thrid day. The first thing on my mind is “check how many times you got bitten by the mosquitoes!” Yes, you can expect the “warm” company by the mosquitoes  if you sleep inside classroom. But that doesn’t matter much anyway. After washing ourselves, we had a jog by Taman Jaya and then back to school again.

Here’s the fun thing.

We did The Caramell Dance! The music rocked (as always)  but, there’s a problem catching up with the movements, heh ^^

Followed by breakfast, the amazing race comes in. It’s the same on what you’ve seen on the TV, except there’s no camcorder and the stations are fewer. But it’s still the same – packed with excitement and fun! I guess this is the best program that the committee had organized for the whole camp. Running here and there completing tasks and working with people is so fun. In the end we thought we’re getting 3rd place, but due to some minor “technical problem” we got 4th. Anyway, it’s still a game, there’s wins and loses.

Then we had a talk by a 70 year old guy (sorry sir, I forgotten you name…) about Habits, and basically, lots of things about life. It’s an excellent talk and you really learn a lot from it. Then we continued the auction from where we left behind (buying stuffs with monopoly money, heh) which will be used on “Talentime”. Our team’s drama “failed” a little bit because we don’t even exceed the time limit. Well, there’s still next time, I believe all of us can do better

That comes to and end on what I call a better “life”. This is a life that we wanted, you learn new things, meet new friends, face win/lose, and biggest thing of it – you accept your lose. And the best of it, it’s really fun.

Our lives are like a candle in the wind, like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get. You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough, life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to take some big chances and go for broke……

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

-The End-

Exams started as it should be. People which are more creative called it “war”. Yes, this is war! A war between you and your inner self, a war between you and you and your parents so that you can show them that you’re not that useless as your brother, a war between you and your teacher to show him that it’s not that you refused to pay attention in class, it’s just that his teaching sucks. Such war never ends, maybe you think that exam is the only “war” but hey, you’re wrong. War can be used in many ways, good and bad ones, we all know the bad ones but, do we know the good ones? Sometimes “inner-wars” between you and yourself will build up a better, stronger you. . . . . (crap I’m off-topic)

We had Chinese and Mathematics today. Chinese is just way too easy compared to Mathematics, well, in my opinion. Some people claims that Mathematics is easier than Chinese and some claims that Chinese is easier than Mathematics. Well, I’ll leave it to you yourself to decide.

Past few weeks passed (not that) peacefully, dealing with stress is not as easy as I thought. School, tuition, homeworks, last minute homeworks are killing me. But life goes on, so we’ve got to live everyday like it’s our last, that’s how you live your life to the fullest.

I guess that’s all for the short little comeback. Good luck and all the best in your exams and studies and, everything!

Adiós

BLOG ON HIATUS

Be back soon……

]]> http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/on-hiatus/feed/ 0 SaintBarney http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/chinese-new-year-is-just-around-the-corner/ http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/chinese-new-year-is-just-around-the-corner/#comments Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:22:57 +0000 LilFishbone http://icylemonade.wordpress.com/?p=294 ]]> Yeap if you’re a Malaysian you’ll definitely know this. Chinese New Year is right on 14th of February which also happens to be Valentines Day! Oooh, now I can smell the delicious cookies and the foods already *drools*

As you have noticed, this blog has died a little as time passes. School and homeworks left me breathless and I could hardly find any time to blog (or you can say that I’m lazy…whatever) So what are you up to for the upcoming Chinese New Year and Valentines Day? I’ve already planned mine – foods, foods, and more foods and more sleeping! Yes that sounds stupid but I’m really gonna eat a lot this time, and sleep, since I could barely get enough hours of sleep during schooldays. Juele always complained about me going to bed early, and I always ended up having less than 8 hours and sleep. So, I slept in class…sometimes. . .

Well, just remember to drink lots of water so you don’t get sick and have a Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day in advance!

Adiós~!

Recently SNSD just released their latest album, titled Oh! (오) not long ago. And it’s as great as their previous titles

Now I’ve got this Gee “no.2″, Oh! It’s just so so simply awesome!

The new album consists of 10 new songs and 2 old songs which are Gee and Genie.  go to http://jenpoo.com/ if you want to download it

Oh, this is so freaking awesome! Long live 소녀시대